As far back as I can remember I've been kind of a movie buff. My mother has an affinity for musicals and epics and it rubbed off on me. There's been some pretty good acting, some incredible talent and some terrific stories told by movies. And for various reasons certain movies will reach out and grab ya and not let go. They are forever etched in your brain.
Roy Shieders "All That Jazz" was one of them for me. It was a movie directed by the directer that the movie was about. Got that? Bob Fossie I believe his name was.
Anyway, in that movie the main character, throughout the movie, is in the process of editing a film and you only see one scene from this movie he's editing. It's a comedian doin' a stand up and going on about a book that was written about the 5 stages of death. They show the same scene over and over in the movie and I still remember it from the '80s.
He recited the stages as:
Anger
Denial
Bargaining
Depression
And acceptance
Now this post is about a death, of sorts, and how those stages very often apply just as directly in this case, as they evidently do in the book, although I've never read it, seen it or even know who the author is. I just know that the book exists.
The death I'm referring to is the death of ignorance as a general state of mind, an awakening, or even an individual apocalypse. The period one goes through while having his eyes open to the reality of the world around him. When the old paradigm is first challenged, then exposed for the fallacy that it is, then discarded for the new reality, it is absolutely, positively, the death of ignorance on a grand scale. Because for many people this process involves all 5 of the above stages.
Anger-"You don't know what you're talking about so take your ignorance elsewhere"!
Denial-"That's crazy! No way does that happen, it's impossible".
Bargaining-"Yea but it's not ALWAYS like that. Not everyone plays that game".
Depression-"Aw man it's all around me. This sucks. It's hopeless".
Acceptance-"Ok. This is the way it is. So what do I do about it? What's MY part in this whole thing"?
That entire process, the whole thing, can take a short time or a long time or somewhere in between. It's different for everyone. There are so many variables that come into play for every individual that effect the length of time, the intensity of the process, whether or not the outcome is positive or negative and motivating or paralyzing. But it seems the one universal among those that experience this transformation, is the innate, often inarticulate FEAR of what lies beyond that curtain. The lucky ones stumble into it and are well on their way before they realize what's happening. That can be both a good AND a bad thing depending on the individual.
I believe fear is the most debilitating emotion known to man. It's natural, it's self-preserving, it can be all encompassing, and it can run our lives no matter how content and fearless we think we are. And if there's an awakening out there to experience, the one emotion that can surely stop it dead in it's tracks, for better or worse, is fear as surely as I'm sittin' here.
But fear of what? That's for every individual to determine for themselves. I have my observations, but I can only speak for myself and my experience. What I do know, and can speak to, is that those 5 stages are very real, and very necessary. But what they AREN'T, is something to fear.
There is an awakening to be had out here in La La Land, and it's well worth the process. It opens your eyes and changes your life in ways you cannot imagine. And the only thing I can guarantee is that if you find yourself going through it, you'll look back and see all the clues that were around you and wonder how in the hell you could've been so friggin' ignorant.
BTW--I tend to use that word, ignorant, quite a bit. But I hope i'm using it in context so as to clearly convey the meaning, and people will see clearly when or when not to be offended. Although I have no control over whether or not they will be. It's a simple word that just means one lacks knowledge...that's it. And it needs to be kept in perspective. We are all ignorant about various things and always will be. That in and of itself is the reality of the situation. There is no such person as a 'know-it-all', but there are people who know less, that certainly like to label people who know more, as 'know-it-alls'. I think for obvious reasons, but I could be wrong. Those people are often referred to as the 'willfully ignorant', and they get offended pretty darn easily. Go figure.
So if you haven't seen "All That Jazz", I highly recommend it. And if you haven't experienced the 5 stages, I highly recommend those also. But if you do the latter, remember to cut yourself some slack, it's what you do when you come out the other side that counts. And as far as soul searching goes, don't worry, it's a natural byproduct. You'll know who you are afterwards, believe me.
Cheers